In a recent breakfast meeting with a truth seeking 20- to 30-something, he confirmed one of the greatest challenges he faces; that of being the same person in all of the communities in which he mingles. Seeing the compartmentalization of his “tribes,” he said, was both confusing and disconcerting.
Perhaps this is NOT just a challenge for the Millennial generation, but a challenge of the ages. How often are all of us presented with daily choices that perplex the weakness of our souls? Our core values suggest one response, while our “darker side” begs for an opposite response, often centered in self-gratification. It may not even be a choice of right or wrong, but the choices we make over time do define who we really are.
What could possibly be more confusing and unsettling than rationalizing the concept of living siloed lives where we are different characters in different life situations, and calling it good? Such is the angst of not just the Millennial generation, but of all generations since time began.
Martin Luther King said it well in a thought that deserves some serious pondering:
“One of the great tragedies of life is that men seldom bridge the gulf between practice and profession, between doing and saying. A persistent schizophrenia leaves so many of us tragically divided against ourselves. On the one hand, we proudly profess certain sublime and noble principles, but on the other hand, we sadly practice the very antithesis of those principles. How often are our lives characterized by a high blood pressure of creeds and an anemia of deeds!”
The opposite, then, of living a life of congruence is living a double life, housed in silos, with bridges of rationalization between each silo. We should beware the double life. Imagine congruence as the solid well-built home on a firm foundation, providing peace, shelter and warmth. The silos typically are exposed to the elements and never weather the test of time. They
may be “cool” but eventually become empty shells, doomed to eventual destruction.
Who doesn’t want to be known as a person of absolute integrity? A person who is the SAME person in all of the communities or tribes in which they mingle; and who’s inner content of their soul is the same label they display in public?
We celebrate some of the Millennial generation’s favorite words: authentic, holistic, spirituality
Isn’t congruency at the heart of these verbal treats? Watch for my next blog post – Five Keys to Living A Congruent Life – for more about the challenge of congruence.
