It’s amazing how emboldened people can be regarding opinions, while lobbing these verbal bombs out through social media. Conversations regarding topics of diverse opinions would seldom be had in a face to face discussion in such a manner, and yet, when sending a message out to the universe of Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, or other sites that represent the trough in which the public feeds, it can make undisciplined beasts of all participants. Many seem to think they can hide behind this curtain without it affecting real lives; but sadly, this is not the case.
A business owner I am friends with recently lost clients because my friend’s employees were blasting out hate messages across the social media that had nothing to do with my friend’s business, but were expressing their “first amendment” rights; of which my friend’s clients had access. Turns out, you don’t have to “follow” or even be “friends” with the messenger to be touched by the winds of electronic media. In this case, my friend’s clients said they couldn’t do business with a firm whose employees were so engaged in hate speech on social issues.
While it is wonderful that so many are finding a voice through social media, it is tragic that many have lost the idea of RESPECTFUL diversity in the process. I witnessed one exchange in my home recently where my daughter expressed an opinion, respectfully, across the internet. Within seconds, a wild barrage of hate messages came back. Then began the hate speech of friends defending friends. When my daughter exited the conversation, one person suggested to another participant that they hoped they would never procreate, the idea being that they wouldn’t want their thought process to be imprinted on any other human beings. The spiraling hate the emanated from an expressed opinion was alarming to witness.
Let me offer three simple ideas to consider in social media communication.
- Imagine the conversation is “face to face.” Speak in terms that would not offend this “personal” conversation. In real life, most people avoid confrontation or situations of conflict. Why, because it just doesn’t feel good. I’m not saying that healthy conflict is not needed—indeed it is, and there are ways to establish the environment for healthy conflict. So why is it then that one is so quick to pull out the thumbs and start throwing missiles and dropping word bombs that incite?
- Respect Diversity Respectfully. There are sharp differences in today’s world about many things, which makes for a very healthy debate. The world would be a very boring place, without any opportunity to grow if not for differing opinions to nearly every topic. But when was the last time you were berated over your idea and you were still willing to talk about that idea with the person who berated you? For those doing the berating, when was the last time you really stopped to consider a differing opinion without hate and malice gurgling up? Speaking in respectful tones and listening with respectful understanding are values worth practicing. Respectful diversity is key to everyone’s well-being.
- Weigh Your Words? In expressing opinions or reactions to opinions on social media, pause to ask yourself if the message you are sending is a true reflection of who you are.
One time in our company, we made little cards that were placed in happy clips that read “If it doesn’t serve, don’t say it!” I think this message can apply in weighing our words.
Are your thumbs racing to get your opinion out there regardless of how you speak it? Are you reacting out of contempt, anger, outrage, hostility, or hate? If so, the message you really want to send is likely to not be heard in the way you would like.
There are books written on this stuff; and I’ve indulged in them trying to understand and discover the positive natures of social media communications. I’m still learning. I just felt compelled to reduce to the most basic common elements, a way to engage and not incite, to communicate and not castigate. I wanted to express these three simple yet powerful ideas that can minimize hurt and pain, and still celebrate the ability to communicate instantly over a broad spectrum.
