I’ve reached a space in my life, where my day-to-day activities are not defined all that much. Some call this “retirement,” but I refuse to use that word. For my entire life, my entrepreneurial and religious ambitions have driven me, set my agenda, and filled my calendar. I have written much about leadership principles and talk about getting off the hamster wheel from time to time to “unstring the bow.” Yet, I have not done so well taking that advice for myself.
Whether this is driven by ego, pride, ambition, or power/control, it really doesn’t matter IF the result is an exhausted soul, even sick with the aforementioned symptoms. Over the past several years I’ve taken up meditation in a ritualistic way, almost daily. This has helped heal the maladies of the day and bring a little peace. Still, I find my anxious self-reaching for something more – more purpose, more peace, more ME – whoever that is. I’m sometimes not so sure anymore.
I suspect that many of you have these same feelings and life dilemmas, whether you are at the height of your career engagement or tip toeing into the space of “retirement” like I am. In this article, I offer a way to step into the void of empty space and find beauty in it. This is a healing mechanism for the world of anxiety, loneliness, and even depression.
How much empty space is there in your day? Do you hustle from one appointment to another, work your way through a long to-do list, or wince every time you look at your dinging cell phone? OR are there blocks of unplanned time that allow you to breathe, contemplate, make shifts in your schedule, or even daydream?
In Japan, the word ma is used to convey the concept of empty space and is related to all aspects of life; from white space on pages to intervals in your day where you deliberately plan nothing. Ma refers to a purposeful gap or pause in time. Rather than looking at a space in your day that needs to be filled, ma treats the space or silence as an essential active presence that gives meaning to the whole.
Essentially, ma has been described as creating the space from which life grows and evolves. Even the ma kanji symbol (間), combines the character for a door with that of the sun, together depicting a door that is cracked open, allowing a shaft of sunlight to creep in. Making purposeful empty space in your life allows ma to breathe into you—to open a door to creativity, freedom, and peace.
In her book Ikigai & Other Japanese Words to Live by, Mari Fujimoto explains that ma can be about creating physical, mental, and audible space. She states: “If you don’t make the time to pause for yourself, you can end up rushing decisions or feeling like life doesn’t really matter—you’re just doing what you need to do.” And I might add that you are simply existing, not thriving.
Here are a few things to ponder in creating more ma in your life:
Think before you speak. Does what you say add value to your listener, or are you just filling space? I love the quote by Steven Bartlett, “Always say less than necessary.”
Resist over-committing. Deliberately leave unfilled time in your calendar.
Sit with discomfort. If you dislike having nothing to do, you may find yourself reaching for your phone. Just sit in this initial discomfort and allow yourself to daydream instead.
Try decluttering. Create areas of empty space in your home – tidy away things that are not in use and think about displaying just a couple of items that hold meaning.
Embrace white space. Instead of trying to fill all voids, embrace and celebrate the space.
Just breathe. Take a breathing break and give thoughts time to settle.
As you begin to incorporate ma in your life, create what I call Ma-Time. Here is a simple exercise to begin your day using this practice:
Stand or sit comfortably and look outside. What can you see? Look up, down, left, and right to see everything in your view. Notice the color, the textures, and any patterns. Pay attention to space above the horizon. What is moving? What is not? Focus on one thing for as long as you can and make note of its intricate details. Relax into what you are seeing and perhaps noticing for the first time. Take a deep breath in and out. My wife likes to “ground” herself during this type of morning ritual, outside with her feet on the grass. Do what works for you.
Now if you are thinking that this was written as my own form of therapy for my current dilemma with “retirement,” you are right. HOWEVER, I hope you find value in this message at whatever stage of life you find yourself in. We could all use a little more MA.
