All posts by mike

Three Keys to Working with Millennials

November 14, 2016

In my work with and study of Millennials, I have learned that WE older generations have much to learn from this expectant (not entitled) generation. If we approach them appropriately and with respect for their talents and abilities, we can quickly come to common ground and find progress and fulfillment – together. But you’ve got to get there. So here are three keys to working with Millennials.

Don’t try to FIX them

In our study of this glorious generation, we have found this group is trying to live out an authentic life like none other. They don’t need to be “fixed,” what they could use is more support in their understanding and views of the world. In our desires to guide them toward empowering virtues, we need to do so in a non-judgmental and loving way.

In The Essential Wooden by John Wooden and Steve Jamison, Coach Wooden (the most legendary college basketball coach of all time) tells the story of the county paying farmers to take a wagon and team of horses into the gravel pits to haul out loads for a fee. John’s dad, also a farmer, watched a young man trying to get his fully loaded wagon out of the pit; whipping and cursing two beautiful plow horses that were frothing at the mouth, and rejecting the young man’s screaming pleas. After watching for a while John’s dad asked the young farmer if he could take them over. The young farmer gladly turned over the reins. First he (John’s dad) started talking to the horses; almost whispering to them, while stroking their noses with a soft touch. Then he walked between them, holding their bridles and still talking to them. The horses settled down, and then he started leading them slowing and calmly out of the gravel pit; as if they were happy to do it.

Sharing with Millennials effectively is no different in this effective leadership lesson. Help them harness their energy and strength in gentle ways.

Celebrate their virtues

One of this generation’s great virtues is to question; because truth to them is personal and ever-changing. While this practice may seem to question authority, it is really more focused on true discovery. What a great virtue to have, the ability to ask good questions. Another virtue they practice which we can celebrate is to not judge. While judgments regarding values and laws may be necessary, it is not necessary to judge others whose opinions may be entirely different than our own. The boomer generation often refer to Millennials as the “entitled” generation, but we believe they are the “expectant” generation and are to be celebrated. The virtues they have and are developing can be celebrated and learned from.

Learn their language

20- to 30-somethings can sniff out a fakester in a heartbeat. If you don’t use the word “dude” in your regular vocabulary, then don’t use it trying to look or be cool with them. By the same token, just because you were raised in a different generation and speak a different language, it doesn’t mean you can’t connect with them in a very personal and productive way.

The first key to learning their language is to learn what shuts them down and avoid such words and terminology. Phrases like “I said so” or “why can’t you just trust me,” don’t answer the question of “Why.” Better to approach a topic in this way: “can we share opinions without judgment of each other’s mindset and in a way that does not try to convert each other to our own way of thinking?” This approach allows a process of authenticity to prevail allowing each party to learn from each other and appreciate each other’s views. The Millennial generation is no different than any generation; they want to be loved, live with purpose, and make a difference. As you learn their language, you will learn that being heard is of more importance than being right…listening is a great part of their language.

An excellent study on this subject and all things Millennial is Effective Generational Ministry by Elisabeth A. Nesbit Sbanotto and Craig L. Blomberg. I highly recommend this book and reference it often. Learning to communicate to the tribes of Millennials will only enhance your own chance of creating a holistic life. See? In one sentence I included two endearing words of Millennials.

Steven A. Hitz is the author of Leadership by LIGHT: Principles That Empower, and is co-founder of Launching Leaders, a nonprofit organization that helps Millennials create their future.

Hope

September 20, 2016

In my book Leadership by LIGHT: Principles That Empower, I begin with the concept that life is a journey of our own creating. With the thought of creating our own future, how impossible would that be without HOPE? Webster tells us that hope is the feeling that what is wanted can be had; a place where expectations can be centered.

On a fall drive the other day, my wife spotted a sign nailed to a post. It was cause for us to turn around and take a closer look. I have cropped the phone number off the bottom; but as we were looking at this sign, the young lady who posted it walked across the parking lot. She saw my wife taking a picture and asked with hope, have you seen my chicken? “No, I’m sorry,” she said, “sure hope you find it.” It had been two weeks since she posted it (long enough for someone to add a little graffiti). This telephone post is in a parking lot adjacent to a country grocery store and across the street from a bar; not in the city, but not exactly rural either.

We didn’t tell her our family had chickens and that from time to time, predators such as raccoons, skunk, and fox pay a visit and fulfill the cycle of life. We would never want to take away the hope expressed in this demonstration of her expectation. She was acting on her hope that her chicken could be found and returned.

I chuckled to think of whether or not her hope would be realized; but who could ever laugh at such a demonstration of hope? Refreshing indeed.

I hope in our own journey in life, as we create our future, we can have such an innocent and open display of hope. Hope after all, is the first step in framing our future.

What Constitutes Success

September 6, 2016

Recently, while in Asheville North Carolina, we found ourselves eating dinner outside in the downtown area. It was a pleasant evening. After we were seated, a couple came on the outside patio and took the table across from us. A couple in the sunset years of their lives, he maneuvered his electronic wheel chair to the table. I watched unobtrusively. There was such a deep caring between them. He would reach for her hand and the look in their eyes between them clearly spoke volumes of their love and life together. So tender. I wondered about their life; how they made their mark, did they have children, all the things folks wonder, but don’t ask.

When their food arrived, she carefully fed him. He waited patiently for each bite. All I saw was love and gratitude. There was a natural air of care about them; the non-verbal communication was unmistakable. When they finished, they quietly left; rolling down the sidewalk, enjoying a night on the town.

One of my friends once said to me that “success” is fulfilling God’s intentions for us—-that as we find our path and connect it to God’s vision for us; then we have found success; whatever that looks like. He said that perhaps a spouse who loves the other partner through life’s difficulties is the truest measure of success.

I saw true success today.

Gratitude Brings Clarity

August 30, 2016

Recently, two of my grandsons joined me for an open house of a spiritual edifice. This event provided a momentof time where they could sense the occasion was special, and they allowed me to participate in their sense of joy. I was grateful for the moment.

In this life, there are plenty of heavy decisions to be made. Sometimes we get mired down in trying to decide which decisions are best, what is the next step forward?

If in these moments, you can ponder the magnitude of what matters most; the seemingly difficult decisions are placed in their proper perspective. How will your decisions affect the simple and powerful truths that should take up the biggest space of your path? In this example, the opportunity to be with my grandsons and experience something special together, and MAKE A MEMORY of it, put into the proper perspective, many other decisions to be made in my life. In this sense, gratitude brings clarity. When pondering choices and decisions to be made, START with gratitude.

Growing Into It

August 24, 2016

I was so impressed with a recent book written by one of our advisory council members, CLOSER than CLOSE by Dave Hickman. The book centers on our understanding of our true identity and coming to realize we have always had what it takes to be complete. This transformational process he references as “Union”.

I pondered this for some time. At the same time I was reading his book, we had some grandchildren over
for a few days. It is so amazing how they want to imitate and be like the adults; even in their appearance.

Elijah had to wear one of my motorcycle helmets one day. For sure it made his neck stronger. But the thought came to me that we often “Grow Into” that person we want to become. We are likely never where we want to be in terms of growth and the person we have decided through our core values to become, but if we wear the outfit anyway, we can feel the mantle of our objectives coming over us as we do improve and grow.

These two thoughts, one of knowing we have what it takes (that we always have had), of being willing to be transformed, and of growing into what we want to become, are empowering ideas that work.

Grow into it!

Good as the Core

August 17, 2016

Just a couple of weeks ago, a very old large tree on the farm fell in a mighty rain storm. It was just about the time chores were finished. Luckily, the tree fell just inches from trailers, buildings and fences and no one was within 50 feet when it happened—that’s another story.

It was just a week or so before this incident when I carefully trimmed all of the branches at the base of the tree and cleaned it up. I was caring for a tree that I thought was very healthy and strong.

Look at how the core of the trunk is rotten; while the outer bark “appears” to be strong—it concealed the inner core of the tree which obviously had been deteriorating for some time.

Dinosaur Giving

August 10, 2016

I recently was hanging out with one of my grandsons, Elijah, who is three and a half years old. We were wandering around the farm. He often comes up to me and embraces my leg and says “I love you grandpa”. This is pretty much all a guy needs to keep going in life, to hear such words from grandchildren.

Somehow in this embrace, and unbeknownst to me at the time, he slipped into the cargo pocket of my shorts a little gift.

He simply wanted to give me a gift, unexpected of course, and from the heart.

Later that night when I got ready for bed and emptied my pockets, I found this little guy—which I know is a treasure to Elijah.

What a great lesson in giving. Give often, give freely, and if you can, make it the size of a dinosaur.

Do You Have What it Takes?

August 3, 2016

We generally have what we need; we simply have to understand that life finds a way and that we CAN make a wonderful world wherever we are planted.

In a recent trip to Europe, in Southern Germany, in a field all by itself was this massive boulder. Monstrous in size, I had to turn the car around to take a picture of this beauty. What struck me was that on a solid rock, it was teaming with trees and life; moss and vegetation. The rock was living, and the trees that found a home on this rock were vibrant, even though one could argue they were not given the most fertile home.

In Rocky Mountain National Park, we found this massive rock (note how large it is in comparison to the man and small boy at the base of it), with a tree has started its life on the very top of this rock; finding a unique path; all by itself, making its own way.

If you understand that wherever you are, in whatever circumstance you find yourself, if you know that God has provided a way for your success—then you can begin a process of making a vibrant and holistic future.