All posts by Steve Hitz

The Future is BRIGHT

December 17, 2018

Launching Leaders recently participated in an interfaith meeting in Fort Collins, Colorado, where a few college students were impaneled to answer sensitive questions regarding how their faith drives their actions and what their view is about religion and spirituality.

Consider how you might answer these questions which were posed to them:

How does your faith/belief affect your concept of fulfillment or success in your life?
What role does your faith/belief play in planning the next steps in your life?
Do you have mentors in your life? Are any of them associated with your faith/belief? Why/why not?
How does your faith/belief affect your feelings about financial matters?
Is it ok to compartmentalize your life (be a different person at home, work, school, and with your friends)? Does your faith/belief play a role in this?
How important is giving back to you? Does your faith/belief play a part in your giving back – whether giving back in time, effort, or money?

Here are a couple of excerpts from what they said that I wrote in my note book during the conversation:

“Infuse together a cohesive life.”

“Ultimate success is finding joy.”

“Success is to walk the path with many.”

“Pursuit of knowledge is a form of worship in itself.”

Participating on the panel of young adults were a Virtuous Agent, Muslim, and Christian. All panelists were engaged in listening intently to the other’s responses and taking the good from each. There was no confrontation or arguing their points against the other. They were all genuinely looking for ways to celebrate commonality. Each of them shared very personal views on their path of faith and spirituality, boldly and with pure authenticity. They were not trying to convert the others to their ways of thinking—they were simply sharing their journey and gleaning insights from everyone around them.

The audience was consisted of many different spiritual leaders in the local faith community, including clergy and university professors. Most of the audience were well past the millennial age. As I observed their own questions, they were more of the essence of “How will you take the good from our generations and add to it in making a better future for yourself and all around you.” I was genuinely pleased that this audience was not only respectful, but also as thrilled as I was about the innate goodness of the young adults who participated. Each of them referenced their parents or grandparents as mentors, even if their spiritual journey was unique unto themselves.

One question was about where they put themselves on a line of spirituality—like a timeline of where it all began and where they see themselves now. One responded: “I don’t see a need to place myself on a line of spirituality.” In other words, our spirituality is unique as to how we make it and doesn’t need to be compared to others or placed on a progression line. This comment was aligned with my own observations about the non-judgmental and independent nature of how the rising generation chooses to live.

The entire experience reminded me of how important it is to have frequent and refreshing dialogue with the interfaith community and to absorb from each other all the goodness we can. The commonality we all share will certainly enlarge each of us.

I concluded that were this panel typical of the thinking patterns of young adults across the world, then our future and the future of the planet is very bright. I went home with a smile on my face and it stretched right through my heart. I continue to celebrate the virtues of the rising generations.

Dying of Despair?

November 27, 2018

It was not that many years ago, that our family of seven (five children) would gather around a table at a restaurant where we laughed, visited, poked fun at one another, and genuinely had a great time enjoying each other and our oddities. Recently I purposely looked around while my wife and I were in a restaurant recently, and witnessed nearly every table, be it family, friends, or couples, with their heads down peering into a device, thumbs a blazing…….”alone together.”

I recently read the new book by Senator Ben Sasse, “THEM: Why We Hate Each Other—and How to Heal”. I was struck by how much I could relate to his findings and analysis. While he declares “We’re literally dying of despair”, there are hopeful solutions.

“The same technology that has liberated us from so much inconvenience and drudgery has also unmoored us from the things that anchor our identity,” says Sasse.

In almost everything I do, say, or write, I have the rising generation in the forefront of my mind and heart. However, this idea that loneliness and despair are killing us, hits all generations square on.

I am fortunate to live in a pretty nice area of the world, in a very comfortable home, surrounded by many good people, and have a loving family. Truth be known, many in my neighborhood, including my wife and I, find that loneliness is too often our companion. There are always activities to partake in, but so much of these are just crack the surface and don’t really provide relationships that take the husks off the corn. Loneliness of course leads to anxiety and depression or a combination thereof. Its causes can be triggered by a variety of events or changes in life’s circumstances.

Contemplating these truths, the invitation from some spiritual leaders to folks old and young to partake in a social media fast for a week or so, is more than timely and ironic—-it is a part of a cure to the despair that ales us. Unmooring us from social media addiction (whether you admit to being owned by the digital world or not) actually does move us dramatically closer to discovering our true identity and this discovery is key to leaving the dumpsters of despair.

Contributing to this social media conundrum and the current state of our loneliness is the inability to find meaning in one’s life. So many factors contribute to loneliness and much of it has rolled upon us like a silent tsunami. Perhaps like a tsunami, it was caused by the breaking of the earth far below the surface; but the effects, now in play, cannot be avoided. The underlying movement which cause despair are varied and many.

Walking from the dark halls of loneliness and despair into hope and sunlight we are challenged with opposition from the highly digital world which has engulfed us. And yet, there are simple yet practical solutions to move toward hope and joy. Meditate upon the following few items and contemplate whether in your life they represent underlying movements that are causing tsunamis of despair and loneliness. Recognizing these underwater movements may help us avoid the waves that are coming; or at lease take us to higher ground.

Detach: Get off the hamster wheel. Test the invitation to partake in a social media fast—to whatever extend you can—and see if this helps focus the mind and settle the soul. I suggest it will give you a fresh set of eyes from which to view yourself and the world you live in.
Focus on meaningful relationships; especially family. With deep relationships reduced to about two in a lifetime—(down from about four) try to sincerely expand your horizons and allow folks into your inner-circle of trust—what can it hurt? So many times, the term “ghosting” is used to basically write people off that have in any way crossed your way of thinking—-even if they are family. Instead of “ghosting” try “hosting” their view point and see if there is not more
Discover “callings” in your life that bless the lives of others. Finding purpose in life is the absolute best remedy for loneliness. A calling is a passion you have personally adopted or feel called to. It can represent many things—but always involves blessing the lives of others. Key to this calling is passion. If you love the cause, you will love the time you devote to it.
Discover your true identity; which will shape your view of the world in a way that allows hope to rise above despair and loneliness. We talk much about this path in Launching Leaders: An Empowering Journey for a New Generation. Find the divinity within you and see how knowing deeply who you are, changes everything.

The world we live in has changed dramatically. We can also change in ways that will allow us to connect with family, friends, and the world in more personal and holistic ways. Hugs are better than “likes” and building relationships face to face are significant vs an electronic friend. Figuring out how to settle the deep underlying movements, will bring us peace and reduce our despair and loneliness. Since there is not a living soul untouched by loneliness and despair, perhaps we can all accept the challenge of moving to safe harbors; to become moored to a life of purpose.

Cafeteria Spirituality

October 17, 2018

In a recent study of how millennials and the rising generation seek out meaning, it may surprise you to learn what is displacing organized religion in their lives. “How We Gather,” a study by Angie Thurston and Casper ter Kuile, researchers at Harvard Divinity School, found the most striking places they seek and find meaning is in fitness classes such as CrossFit and SoulCycle.

This space provides for them many aspects that one would HOPE to find in organized religion, such as community and a space for growth and vulnerability—all of which are key components of spirituality. In an age where young adults are picking and choosing their religious traditions, this type of space gives them much of what they are seeking in their spiritual journey.

Since the focus is on becoming fit, whatever that means to the individual, they “come for the body but stay for the breakthrough.” During the process of exercise, they release stress, gain insights, renew commitments toward their goals, and make the fitness space their “sanctuary.”

This school of thought adds to the rising generation’s mantra of being spiritual but not religious. Perhaps this phrase is a bit tired now, but as you can see, the path being blazed is as fresh as cut hay in the spring.

Leaders from traditional faiths may find the idea of entering a cafeteria line to pick and choose from the traditions offered is akin to blasphemy. However, to the heart of the rising generation, it is a pathway to meaning that is not hindered by past traditions that they don’t understand or embrace.

When a person feels judged in their path or are guilted for turning their backs on traditions they don’t accept, then their search for meaning expands to wherever they can find community—such as the CrossFit gym. There, they can train as individuals or join a team with a mutual goal. Bonding comes from experiencing hardships together. A co-author of the study made the comment that there are a growing number of people who don’t fit into a religious box. If you pray to Jesus (they say), you can do that on a bike.

The CrossFit experience allows the participant the freedom to integrate and select what they want to do. Theology isn’t pushed into your face—-they say. They form personal friendships with the group leaders or other patrons which lead to vulnerability. The group leaders take on “pastoral” roles and soon they are texting highly sensitive and personal information—together they find community and understanding. While in the exercise experience, they form a tribe or pack and support each other in their goals—even clapping for each other as they cross the finish line. This all becomes a new sense of ritual and forms a new type of religious tradition.

It is interesting to me, this new spiritual and religious space some of our young people have drifted toward and now embrace. I applaud the independence of youth in discovering their spiritual and religious path. I believe that wherever they find it, it will create for them a higher sense of meaning in their lives.

However, when looking at this through the eyes of faith, there will never be a substitute or replacement for the peace that God brings. If some of these new venues create a space for faith, I hope it is the beginning of what can be joyful peace, and not just a transitory peace that changes from fad to fad. Along this concept of “adding to” and not taking away from their chosen venue for peace or spirituality, I also hope they will find the time to explore without judgment, whatever meaningful faith traditions that gave their parents or ancestors peace and hope.

I once visited my grandfather’s place of worship in the community he lived in. There in the little town of Malans Switzerland, was a beautiful little church with a cemetery in the back. I saw my namesakes on the headstones. I slipped inside the chapel in the back and sat on a pew and listened to a teacher playing the guitar and singing to the children in a class.

It was a spiritual moment for me as I sat with gratitude and pondered the space of faith my grandfather embraced which moved him forward in years of great despair. He found hope on the pew I sat on perhaps and his community gathered around him to buoy him up.

I do believe that you can find spiritual sustenance outside of churches and that new traditions can be established that bring great meaning to life. You can pray to your God on a bike, in a church, or in a car. My question is, why is this a sucker’s choice (either the CrossFit gym or a Church or religious tradition)? Why can’t it include “all of the above,” where without judging, we can all experience a space of faith that doesn’t exclude, but rather, includes all that the inner-soul yearns and reaches toward.

Instead of cafeteria spirituality, let’s all come to the smorgasbord and feast. Let’s not limit ourselves in our quest for developing our faith, spirituality, or religious traditions. Let’s be part of a big-tent mentality and not live our lives in a pup tent. I embrace all the goodness that CrossFit and like fitness trends have to offer—-as long as it doesn’t exclude all the good that faith tradition adds to the process of having a holistic life.

I discuss a holistic life for the rising generation, a life that includes spirituality and religious practice, in my book Launching Leaders: An Empowering Journey for a New Generation.

What Is Real: Five Stepping Stones to Contentment

July 24, 2018

What Is Real: Five Stepping Stones to Contentment

Did you know about 36% of Millennials and Gen Z’s are choosing to not be affiliated with religious institutions? Six percent are atheist, and 7% are agnostics. Of these two groups 38% say religion is very important in their lives. Thirty-six percent of this group say they seldom pray. This is all from a 2014 PEW study, and we know for certain that religious practice and spirituality in all generations are on a steady decline.

A recent CBS News report cited a study by CIGNA that found Gen Z’s (ages 18-22) are the loneliest generation with Millennials close behind. This is now causing a widespread health crisis as loneliness contributes to depression, obesity, anxiety, drug and alcohol addition to name a few issues sited by the former surgeon general Dr. Vivek Murthy In an October 2017 report from CBS News. .

One of the contributing factors to a detachment from faith and loneliness, has been the age of the electronic media. What was once novel to one generation, feels passé to the next. To many gen Z’s now, smart phones and internet have lost their appeal.

In an article by Taylor Lorenz of the Daily Beast she found in interviewing many Gen Z’ers that they have become restless and discontent with the online world.

Pointing these statistics out is NOT a judgment on Millennials and Gen Z’ers, as every human ever born has challenges and opportunities.

We have the opportunity in Launching Leaders Worldwide to affiliate with many faith groups across the globe and we find that no group of faith is insulated from these trends.

The challenge they now have is deciding HOW to come out of the insular tech world and into a world of real relationships. No one wants to become restless or discontent in life. No one wants to experience anxiety. No one wants to be lonely.

I wish to ask the rising generation to consider a few simple practices that may enhance their journey. Consider these as stepping stones across a pond of discontentment. I offer 5 stepping stones to reach the shores of contentment and peace:

Stage a Fast. Not from food or water, but from the electronic media. A global spiritual leader recently challenged their youth across the globe to disconnect and have an electronic fast for 7 days. The results have been interesting if not life changing. I believe this step will be a beginning to re-setting your true identity and discovering what is real about life and relationships; a beginning to more peace and contentment.
Read and Ponder. Gather some great books about great lives or otherwise inspiring individuals and learn more of what made them great. This should be a life-long pursuit. We end up mirroring those we want to be like, and in the process, we reflect those virtues we hold dear. We literally become what we take into our minds and bodies. You can never read enough of good books. The image we have of ourselves, our true image—not one prescribed by social media, will become clearer as we take time for ourselves and become constant learners of great lives and principles.
Seek and Find. While Millennials and Gen Z’s have pushed back against organized religion, there is still a powerful place for a spiritual space and for traditions of sanctity. Each person must discover this path. I would encourage the rising generations to make a space for faith. Whatever this looks like for you, please don’t ignore the nudgings of the inner-voice as this is the part of your life that will connect you to the best relationships and propel you toward a life of self-discovery and real joy.
Respond to your longings. Rather than wait for the next electronic ping—think about how your longings and the dreams of your heart can be achieved. Begin to chart a course using broad strokes at first, but then start to live into your passions with more detail—one by one. Celebrate every victory and see your confidence grow as you create your own future, step by step.
Document Reality. Journal regularly. I don’t know of anyone who has experienced a holistic life without journaling. It’s that simple. This is a habit that many Gen Z’s and Millennials already practice, but if you don’t—-develop it now. It can be so easy; do it in a note taking app if you wish, add pictures that help explain what you are writing about, and make it personal and uniquely you. Keep a note pad or electronic device handy to record impressions that you can later ponder and magnify. This practice codifies each of the other steps I’ve suggested. Be real, be authentic, put on paper what’s in your heart.

These steps are some of the puzzle pieces that over 30 groups across the globe have made a part of their individual mosaics so far in 2018 as they have participated in the Launching Leaders curriculum.

I invite everyone to take steps out of a world of discontent and consider a path that includes faith (traditions, spiritual exercises, and introspection), an occasional fast, perhaps regular reduction in electronic media, and an open mind to principles of empowerment. We have testimonials from many faith traditions and others who have made their lives more complete through these principles.

Take these steps to personal freedom and skip a few stones along the way.

Spiritual PTSD

June 27, 2018

I recently took another trip across Southern Wyoming, and at about Wamsutter the heavens opened as I pondered deeply the spiritual state of my friends of the rising generation. I opened my sun-roof to allow my personal “heaven’s gate” to be open to my wandering mind.

I had a couple of passengers, who looked upon me as a little crazy, but unless you’ve channeled your spiritual energy through Wamsutter Wyoming—don’t knock it.

With about 60% of Millennial Christians leaving their church homes within a decade of adulthood (Barna Group Study). PEW research indicates that 26% of Muslim Millennial’s and 32% of Jewish Millennial’s are leaving their customary church homes; making religious continuity a challenge. And yet, all of these groups recognize and yearn for something spiritual in their lives and the younger generations are trying to define this. One can call this conundrum church PTSD or even a form of spiritual hiatus. Whatever you call it, there is an elephant in the room that needs addressing.

Of this conundrum are now born actual businesses focused on establishing bite-sized rituals and spiritual refreshment that fill the void left by traditional experiences. They are partnering with professors of major universities to marry the secular with the new way of spiritual thinking. One Muslim kit being created contains a prayer rug, a compass, water, and a prayer book. Models of ritual bite-sized packets are being developed for Jews and Christians as well.

Why bite-sized? It addresses the nature of obtaining things in an instant with the ability to devour the portion before us quickly so we can be about whatever else might occupy our day, ten minutes at a time. This is not a condemnation; but a reality brought about by living in real time 24-7.

By creating rituals that are a bit light-weight and humorous, it takes the edge off of heavy hierarchal rituals and traditional experiences that put the new generations in spiritual overload. In a way, addressing spiritual needs in this manner avoids the deep dive into spiritual realms that could pull one into a pattern of religiosity that could trap the seeker into unexpected paths. Others are creating self-help mantras, monthly subscription services that address the spiritual hunger that does exists among the youth, whether or not they are proclaimed church-goers or followers of religions.

One model in development is a “prayer kit” where one can find the physical kit in a building posted online, and patrons can simply drop in to a building and access the kit to enter their spiritual realm. People can customize their desired experience and still keep their spiritual yearnings alive.

So why do I point out the changing landscape? It brings me back to one important thread of truth that weaves all of our spiritual tapestries together—-that yearning for a spiritual part of our being that keeps all of our hopes (both explained and unexplained) alive. I think we may be spending too much time on what bugs us about the topics of spirituality and religion than weaving our common denominators together. I understand spiritual PTSD—heck, I’m good for an hour of church on Sunday, and maybe I can stretch it into two hours of meaningful worship, but beyond that my anxiety and angst kick in and I’m ready for a corn dog and chips overlooking a lake in my back yard while pondering the significance of life. I get it, spiritual yearnings must be met, but everyone must address this in their own way.

I obviously believe that when one connects their core values with principles of faith—their lives improve in a way not otherwise possible. Having said that, I also believe that however one accesses the “divine within” that it ought to be as individual as their smile. Never give up or diminish the need for spirituality in our lives, but also, never diminish the journey each must take to bring these threads into the fabric of our faith and spiritual lives. I respect the idea of partaking of bite-sized rituals and spiritual awakenings, as long as “bite-sized” doesn’t turn into spiritual emancipation.

Open your sunroof in Wamsutter; you never know what will come through your own “heaven’s gate.”

Authenticity and Cheese

April 26, 2018

I love the realness of the younger generations; it is refreshing to see the unfiltered ways of a generation that values being their true-selves over the opinions of others. This is often referred to as authenticity.

Oscar Wilde is quoted as saying “Be yourself. Everyone else is already taken.” However, just being yourself is not necessarily being authentic, and being authentic is not necessarily being yourself. What I’m saying is that we live into our authenticity—it is something that is formed over time, and not just dropped in our lap. Our views of who we really are dynamic and even change over time.

It may be natural for my five year old grandson to drop his drawers and pee off our deck—-certainly authentic (and no, don’t go judging where he learned this from), but is this authentic behavior a good pattern for life? Can I say, “Oh, Elijah is just being Elijah,” chuckle, chuckle. Or is authenticity shaped over time? Is one of our opportunities in life to shape our authentic behaviors and habits? Can’t we refine them and still be authentic? I think we can.

Cheese is great, but it not always good. As authentic and natural as the mold on old cheese is, we might not indulge just because it’s natural.

Let me be clear, being authentic should be an objective for all of us; clearly it steers us away from being incongruent, which is the total opposite of being authentic. Actually, one can be authentic AND congruent—the best of all worlds. Let me iterate some of the great virtues of being authentic and add to each point a footnote for added consideration (On the other hand).

Authentic people lift others to be authentic. They don’t measure people’s value on how well they fit into their own mold (no pun intended). They understand that the full picture is made up of many puzzle pieces, all being beautifully different.

On the other hand: Be free to adopt the best of the best and make it your own—borrow a puzzle piece from time to time.

They don’t “wallow” with negative people. Those who judge harshly are not the type of people they choose to be around. Barnacles on ships need to be cleaned off for a reason, and authentic people are constantly sailing into fresh water where barnacles are cleaned off naturally—leaving the negative drags behind.

On the other hand: Don’t crucify yourself if you have a personal pity party from time to time. Sometimes it’s healthy to vent—-if only to yourself—just don’t make it a habit.

They don’t gage their communication based on whether or not it’s popular. They will express their true feelings about something, usually unfiltered, regardless of the company they are in. Transparency is their abiding virtue.

On the other hand: Sometimes what we think doesn’t always need to be spewed from our mouth. Sometimes it’s better to keep the thought to ourselves while we weigh its effect.

They desire to know someone, rather than to know about someone. Eleanor Roosevelt once said, “Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people.” The authentic generation prefers to talk about things that matter. They want to know the “why” behind the “what.” It’s not because they are untrusting, it is because this process adds to their commitment to spend their time making a difference. The greatest values in life surround relationships—the authentic person knows this.

On the other hand: There is no other hand.

They are all about discovery and not taking someone’s word for it. Again, not because of a lack of trust, but because they have a right and need to know in order to live in the authentic world they have chosen.

On the other hand: Google is not the end all in discovery. Temper the ‘absolutes’ in knowledge with a healthy appreciation for the unknown.

They choose to be positive and accountable. Regardless of their circumstances, the authentic person strives to see the good from any situation and the good that can arise from it. They want to be accountable for their actions of moving the world toward a better place.

On the other hand: There is no other hand.

They are internally motivated. I have had many conversations coaching business leaders on how to appreciate the rising generation, who, by the way, will represent about 80% of the workforce within five years. The carrot and stick approach doesn’t work with them. They have taught us a better way—to be motivated by intrinsic value—by making a difference. That is why the younger generations have been shaped to become the best entrepreneurs ever. I will discuss this in depth in my soon to be released book: “Entrepreneurial Foundations for 20- and 30-Somethings”.

On the other hand: It is good to remember that intrinsic motivation is born of what is put into the heart and mind. If you input positive and uplifting things, the ultimate intrinsic motivation will be holistic.

Their world doesn’t end when someone doesn’t like them. Everyone likes to be liked. This is a normal desire. When someone doesn’t like you, it is often hard to accept. But instead of spending much wasted energy on what you did that deserved that treatment, authentic people have limited that anxiety knowing they would never change themselves to try to influence someone else’s opinion. They have accepted that people with differing opinions than theirs also deserve the respect of authenticity.

On the other hand: Sometimes there are misunderstandings that deserve healthy conversations to gain true understanding. This can result in a change of heart—mending relationships, seeking full understanding and being authentic are not diametrically opposed. There is no need to end a relationship (or even implement ‘ghosting’—a practice implemented by the rising generations that basically ignores the person they have decided to end a relationship with) that could have been saved by seeking understanding.

Again, I celebrate the virtues of the rising generations, one of which is their authentic authenticity. I hope this authenticity invites consideration of HOW it can be shaped or refined to make an already good life, a better one. Of course, regular assessment of one’s relationship to Deity is the most authentic you can get. Remember, trimming the mold off of cheese before you eat it might be a good thing.

Perspective: 3 Ways to Move Your Vision Forward

March 27, 2018

I have always been fascinated by pictures sent from space looking upon our little planet we call earth. It is mind boggling really, to contemplate our tiny existence, and how we fit into the grand scheme of things.

Here are some comments from a few who have recently seen the earth from this perspective:

“Every single part of earth reacts with every other part. Seeing the planet from above makes you realize that and makes you want to be a little more proactive keeping it that way.

“Karen Nyberg—US astronaut

“You’ve got this planet beneath you, and a lot of what you see, especially during the day, does not necessarily point to a human presence….we really have to stick together as a human family to make sure we are a permanent presence on this planet and not just this blink of an eye.”

Samantha Cristoforetri—Italian astronaut

“The thing that grew in me over these flights was a real motivation and desire…to not just enjoy these sights and take these pictures….but to make it matter.”

Kathy Sullivan—US Astronaut

It was their vision of something much bigger than themselves, which instilled in them a great desire to be proactive and determined to make a difference; to add to the whole of this earthly experience. As we find our little “space” on the planet, it is important to recognize that every person born into this existence matters, and has a special purpose. Discovering who we are and establishing our own vision and purpose is critical to living into your dreams.

It was Ronald Reagan who said [and this is inscribed on his tombstone] “I know in my heart that man is good. That what is right will always eventually triumph. And, that there is purpose and worth to each and every life.”

Here are three ways to move your vision forward:

Don’t let the grandeur of the universe diminish your unique worth. It is natural perhaps, when seeing the awesomeness of humanity and our existence, or facing personal challenges that can cause one to minimize their self-worth—especially if comparing oneself to everyone around you, which might make one feel of their own nothingness. If this is a feeling you might have, then know that you are listening to the wrong voices.
Be a part of the community and don’t live in isolation. Humility is a key to success; however, hibernating in your own cave does not equal humility; it only equals hibernation. Bears do that each year, but they still have to come out and make themselves a part of the family of the living; expanding their contributions to the earth on which they live. If you are hibernating because of self-doubt, you are choosing to limit your vision. Find the courage to take a step out of your cave, into the light of day. The world is anxious for your contribution.
Follow the inner-voice and keep moving forward. Have you identified your core values? Have you come to understand a bit of your unique purpose? Have you started to make your mark in sharing your contributions and making the world a better place because you lived? I have found that every single person I have ever met, has a contribution to make that is meaningful.

Perhaps a story that sums up these three keys was our recent trip to Korea. While we were attending the Global Business and Interfaith Peace conference there, I was requested an interview by the press. This particular press group was made up of developmentally disabled young adults. They sat before me, clearly challenged both physically and mentally, striving to articulate questions through an interpreter. I looked into their eyes, and though their speech was limited and their mannerisms uncoordinated, they were enlivened and passionate about what they were doing. I could not help but notice that they were uninhibited and joyous in their purpose. After the interview, I stood and hugged each of the reporters and expressed my love and admiration to them. They were clearly living into their dreams. They were not held back by their challenges. Rather, they put themselves out there, had confidence that they could make a difference, were not comparing themselves to anyone around them, and were moving forward as they listened to the voice within which spoke into their purpose. I have rarely been so moved.

Perhaps these keys will allow you to both appreciate the grandeur of your existence, and at the same time, understand the unique contribution you are and can make to the world you live in.

The Root of Values

February 15, 2018

Over the past few years I have had the honor of attending the worship services of many faiths – from various Christian groups to Muslim and Jewish groups, to groups that claim spirituality without a specified denominational affiliation.

The sincerity and conviction of each group I’ve spent time with is authentic. Clearly, all are believers—all are driven by their unique versions of faith.

The threads of commonality are clearly all driven by values. What constitutes the roots of these shared values? Whether they stem from tradition, family, affiliates, friends, scripture, leaders, mentors or from personal experience, the shared commonality is what really does make up a beautiful tapestry of shared humanity—-a tapestry of faith.

With all of this, there seems to be many—in ALL generations, who are adrift in terms of defined values. Perhaps this is a result of those who no longer attend organized religion, or who have decided to blaze their own trail in establishing their own values, but have not yet determined HOW to take the first steps.

After nearly a half century of living, and considering myself a person who lived with ethics and values, I realized that I had not actually defined clearly the values I espoused and had not put pen to paper regarding my own value statement. I decided to do it. I teach this in chapter two of Launching Leaders: An Empowering Journey for a New Generation (formerly titled Leadership by Light). For me this process included the following steps, which I define with detail in the book:

Find holy ground
Ponder, meditate, pray
Write down your core value statements
Align your core values with your faith
Live the values and be transformed

This process took months. This discovery was not just about finding the bedrock of my values, but creating the blue print for living INTO the values I believe in. That’s the transformation part.

I believe that the tapestry of faith we celebrate can be even more enhanced on a personal level through the process of defining our own core values. I believe this process of defining the roots of our values will add to the beauty of humanity. I invite everyone to get a copy of the Launching Leaders book (Christian or Multi Faith edition) and dive in. Enjoy the journey.

What About Kindness

December 15, 2017

As I spend time with the 20 and 30-somethings and the newer generations, I am truly mesmerized by their emboldened character traits. I love these generations for so many things; their desire to make a difference, non-judgmental attitudes, nomad traits—going anywhere to find the tribe that can support their passions, and shaping their own fabrics of faith. One of the traits of the new generations I admire the most is kindness.

Demonstrating kindness may be considered a spiritual exercise, but is also a highly admirable human trait. The ways of kindness, though may not always come naturally, can certainly be an earned and learned trait.

Here are some challenges regarding kindness and how we might improve our paradigm:

Kindness is hard because it takes time. So often in our crazy world, we just don’t take the time to extend kindness, even when we feel it is needed. You can’t be kind when you’re in a hurry. Haste is the root of undone kindness. Emerson said “You cannot do a kindness too soon, for you never know how soon it will be too late.”

Solution: Make it a practice to not be in such a hurry that you overlook a chance to be kind.

Kindness is hard because it is inconvenient. Kindness or performing a kind act is usually not on your schedule. We often have so many important things on our schedules that being kind can be inconvenient and interrupt our schedules. Kindness is usually not on your agenda because it doesn’t rank in your top 10 things to do that day.

Solution: Overarch your daily schedule by putting on top of your to do list “demonstrate kindness in every interaction this day.” This then becomes an act we can practice and will eventually come more naturally. I once met with a recognized spiritual leader and he said regarding spirituality in his life….”It ma

kes me less of a jerk than I would normally be.” I admit the same in my life, and I believe an umbrella of kindness over all we do will brighten our world and also the world of those we interact with.

Kindness is hard because it demands focus. If you think about it, kindness is always intentional. Seeing the need for kindness comes from stepping out of our comfort zone sometimes, especially if we are naturally an introvert. Part of this focus is to be slow to anger and quick to compliment; or quick to reserve or withhold judgment, and slow to react to our less than kind instincts.

Solution: Pick your head up from your electronic device and look around you. When passing by people in your midst, take the time to look them in the eyes with kindness and a smile—THAT is perhaps the most significant kind act you will do in a day. Kindness doesn’t have to be spectacular, it simply requires focus. Wave to your neighbors. Looking away can be considered an act of unkindness, so engage with humanity—-it makes life so much more interesting and enjoyable.

Acts of kindness can easily be proactive. Here is a short list:

Write a note to someone
Perform a deed without being asked
Serve in the background without requiring fanfare
Do the dishes
Listen
Give compliments freely
Don‘t look at your watch while in conversation
Give up a parking spot without complaining
Put your shopping cart back where it belongs

Kindness is the center of conflict resolution; an effective peace maker can shape a sword into a plow shear. Peace through strength is not the same as peace through kindness. Kindness lasts and doesn’t necessarily have to be “monitored” for peace to be sustained. No one launches a rocket in kindness.

Here is another thing about kindness; while it can be learned and practiced, it can never be faked. Kindness and authenticity go hand in hand.

In terms of effective leadership, I recently learned that if you are cold (unkind) and are seen as low-warmth, you have something like a 1-in-2000 chance to make it to the top 25% of effectiveness as a leader. I’ve seen it in my own companies; harsh directives only bring long-term distain, while kindnesses, though sometimes overlooked, more often than not can bring long-term loyalty and friendship. Even if those you are kind to don’t return the favor, it’s a better way to lead and live.

In terms of spirituality, it’s just a no-brainer that a kind and warm person can be entreated to enter a sacred world of thought and mindfulness. Why else would one enter that realm if not invited by someone we esteem as kind, warm, and generous?

I wish to say “Thank you” to the Millennials and younger generations for leading the way with kindness. You are blazing a better trail for every generation to follow.

Plan Without Doubt: 3 Ways to Move Forward

October 23, 2017

I’m getting deeper into authoring our new book – Millennial Money – and it is fascinating and refreshing to explore the mindsets of the young adult generation regarding jobs (either career or entrepreneurial), and how they view life in general.

We know that in all phases of their lives, they desire to be a part of something greater than themselves, and to make a difference. The old paths seem stale to them—you know— grow up, go to college, get a good secure job, etc. This process seems to them like getting on a hamster wheel, going round and round with no clear space for jumping off.

The old paths, while commendable, are not always the most joyful path. One of my sons received his master’s degree from the University of Oregon in conflict resolution. He worked hard to get a job within this discipline, but really never found the opportunity. Finally, being the raised entrepreneur that he is, he launched into the franchise world and is having a blast, making a good living, and utilizing the skills he was trained in—though applied in HIS way and not necessarily the “prescribed” way.

The young adults of today are so “done”with prescribed paths “made” just for them. They prefer a buffet line of options; or even ala-cart but they must place the order themselves. I love this philosophy, and in a world where the young adults will likely work in up to seven career or entrepreneurial paths, it’s a perfect way to both gain experiences and make a difference at the same time. Creating their own future is exactly what they want to do.

I have outlined three positive ways our young adults are moving forward. We can all take some direction from them in these regards:

Enjoy the landscape

We recently enjoyed some family time with our grandchildren in Southern California. This picture is of three cousins (two are brothers) as they contemplate the scene before them. Children take in the landscape before them with such joyful innocence. Their views are not yet too controlled by either their family or peers. They just see what they see and enjoy it. Not far behind this scene are eager parents, concerned about how low the wall is, or the bird droppings so near their hands, and just before they engage in a little fish and chips. But the three cousins enjoy the bird, the boats, the water, all flowing together in a very pleasant moment. The point I’m making is that our beloved young adults seem to have this youthful quality of enjoying the landscape before them—-for just what it is at the moment. Many of their predecessors were too distracted by their “plans” to just stop and enjoy moments. Take away the pressure of absolute plans and replace it with some flexibility and you suddenly have innovation and creativity. Am I saying that plans for life don’t include goals? No. I’m saying that in the world of young adults, the goals can be painted with broad stokes, which allow the landscape before them to be viewed without prejudice and details can be added later.

Take it all in—without judgment

On this same trip, two cousins look out upon Disneyland and talk about the opportunities before them. They are pretty excited about the impending day, and really the only things that will get in their way are the adults. The grandparents may have to distract the adult parents just a little bit so the innocent and creative plans of these little ones can move forward.

I use this imagery as an example of how our young adults are able to cast their eyes about the world and do so in the most childlike and nonjudgmental way. What doors does this type of view open? Many—I can assure you.

Move forward without doubt

I watched this all play out, and then their plans were sealed with a special cousin shake—officially moving their plans forward, without doubt. I heard words like “ya, let’s do it,” and then the little cousin handshake to make it official.

I believe as we recognize these three ways in which our young friends are moving forward, we would do well to learn these wonderful traits as we 1)view the positive potential in the world for us all, 2)be able to take it all in without judgement, and then 3)execute our plans without doubt.

In this process, we take the good from each other’s generations and create bridges of success for all of us.

Let’s all shake on it and just “do it.”